Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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