I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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