i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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