Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
