CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
