when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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