I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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