Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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