I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
