Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
