That's when you crack a 10am beer
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
