it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
