You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
