I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
