im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
