We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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