My room smells like vodka and shame
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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