I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
