i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
