so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
