i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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