I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
