Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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