The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
