spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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