I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize