This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
