I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
