if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
