i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
