I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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