the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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