Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is my gift to your gina
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
