I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize