hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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