God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
