she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
