she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
