for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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