haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize