he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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