so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
