yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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