i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
