Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
