it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize