Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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