We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
