I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
