All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Text me some of your sweat
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
