ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
