3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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