I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
