no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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