whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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