I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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