there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
