you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
