I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize