I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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