can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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