this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
