I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You took a bar mat shot.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
